Sunday, March 8, 2015

Planning The Wedding

14th November 2014. This date will be cherished forever as the day that This Guy asked me to be his wife, and I, without hesitation, accepted. Since then I've been fairly quiet on here in regards to wedding plans, but I do think it's time to let you in on some of the details. Thank you to everyone who has sent words of love our way since the engagement. We've just gotten home from our lovely honeymoon and I can assure you I have lots of beautiful content to share over the coming weeks!

Plans, Nerves and Teamwork

It's been a growing experience that's for sure and thankfully This Guy and I have only grown stronger and closer throughout the process. I was a little nervous when we first announced our engagement, and it wasn't because I was nervous to take this next step with This Guy (I had no doubt that he was is THE ONE) but I was afraid of what expectations may be pushed upon us and what drama would inevitably be carried out somewhere somehow. How many friends would I lose once I gained the ring? How many long lost aunts and uncles would expect an invitation? How many people would condemn me to hell should I choose not to be married in a church? Sadly, I already knew that although our marriage, and wedding, was an agreement between This Guy and I, somehow others would find a way to make it about them.

The first weeks after the proposal were probably the busiest in terms of wedding planning. I was leaving for Europe in a month and we had to think smart if we wanted the wedding we had our hearts set on. Plus, we were determined to plan as much of the wedding as soon as possible before others started planning it for us. Harsh I know but after hearing horror stories of families full of amateur wedding planners, it made sense.

We also had no desire to have a lengthy engagement as we saw no point. We didn't want to be engaged, we just wanted to be married. We're both pretty impatient that way.

Within two weeks we had locked in 80% of the wedding from our guests, to our venue, celebrant, honeymoon, photographer and attire. This was when I was half expecting my over organisation and enthusiasm to scare This Guy away. But he didn't run, instead he was there every step of the process, from selecting the ribbon for our invitations to talking me out of my idea to be barefoot for the ceremony.

There were bumps in the road certainly. You can't expect to have any event go off without a hitch, let alone a wedding (see what I did there?) but everything came together perfectly and instead of getting worked up about the little things, or even the bigger issues at hand, This Guy and I sought out solutions together.

We're also extremely grateful for my amazing parents for their continued support and counsel throughout the whole process. Their support was really an immense help. They've been married for 25 years so we figured who better to turn to when we needed some assistance?

So, on the 1st of Autumn 2015, one week ago, just three and a half months after we got engaged, I vowed to love This Guy Jarrod for the rest of my life. 

It is pretty exciting news.

What advice would I give to sweetharts
planning their own wedding?

Every bridal magazine and article will tell you the same thing. It's your day! This is so true. Do not be pushed into doing anything that isn't you. Some people may try to guilt you into doing things their way or making accommodations that you shouldn't have to make. Remember that this is, hopefully, the only wedding you will ever say I Do at. People tend to leave their manners behind every once in a while, and a quiet reminder on general etiquette may be required.

There will be hecklers.

There's always going to be people who want to sway your decisions. There's always going to be someone who feels like they were left out or not accommodated for. Try not to let it get to you when it happens and make sure you are completely open about how you are feeling with your fiance. They're probably feeling the same way too. No matter what happens here this is about the two of you and shaping a life together. Don't start it on the wrong foot by not communicating with one another. I love the open flow of communication I have with my husband, and how when anything problematic came up during planning we would tackle it as a team; #teambatman

I recently read an amazing article on Rock N Roll Bride, which discussed the difficulties around deciding who to invite, and one particular sentence has stuck with me ever since. "The people that love you will still do so whether you invite them or not, and those that fall out with you for it, well, did you really want them anyway?” We had an intimate ceremony, and I am so grateful for the amount of support we have received, from family members I was expecting to be upset when they didn't receive an invitation.

I deactivated my facebook account for two months between the engagement party and wedding, as a way of avoiding some of the questions or advice that had already been manifesting in my inbox. It's funny how as soon as you get engaged suddenly people you haven't spoken to in years pop back up on the radar, asking questions and offering assistance. Making myself just that little bit less accessible for a while definitely helped my mental wellbeing.

Also, try not to sweat the small things. Look for the air and take a breath before going terminator and search for solutions or alternatives before giving up. Our wedding was quite small but we still had our set backs, like the photographers plane to the location being cancelled, and we just dealt with it. Stress can be such an exhausting emotion, which is often just wasted energy. Plus, once the day comes along, all you will really care about is the person in front of you. Everything else will seem so small and insignificant, so why bother worrying at all?

Oh, and whatever you do, if you are stressing out, don't take any of your wedding stress out on your betrothed. They may have put you into this situation, but you agreed to it and it should be a happy occasion. Any issues you should work through together. Butt heads with your mother, your brother, your father in law, your bridesmaid, the best man, just don't butt heads with the one you are going to spend the rest of your life with. That is the biggest piece of advice I can give.

Oh! I am so excited to share more details of our ceremony and honeymoon!
Stay tuned.

Some Further Reading About Wedding Planning For Now
Wedding Etiquette Dos & Donts
Wedding Planning Advice from Brides
Preparing For Marriage
Get A Handle On Your Guestlist
Worst Parts Of Being A Bridesmaid
Getting Married Overseas
I Hate The Way I Look In Wedding Photos
Talking About Your Engagement On Facebook
My Favourite Blogger Engagement Announcement