Wednesday, April 22, 2015

You're Pregnant? The Relationship Gravy Train

I should admit upfront that I'm not overly surprised that it seems about half the people I come in contact with at the moment assume I'm pregnant or planning a family soon. It's like I've got nothing else to offer in the way of gossip anymore because I'm married. I've gone through the dating hiccups, hook up regrets and the wedding planning glow, so where to now? For me, it's about enjoying married life, just the two of us, and when we are well and truly ready we will look to make additions, but the time is not now. We have travel plans, study plans and careers to build. We want to give our family the best chance we can from living arrangements and adventure opportunities to education and a safe haven.

Some women, and men to be sure, don't want children and that is their choice. I don't want a cat, or a horse, that is my choice. I don't want a mortgage or a fancy car, that is my choice. I don't want a Louis Vuitton wallet, that is my choice. I don't want to study medicine, that is my choice. People tend to accept all these other choices, but when the topic of family comes up it would appear that we're all expected to have babies.

It's like there is this Relationship Gravy Train

>>> Meet Someone You Like >>> Fall In Love >>> Move In Together >>> Get Engaged >>> Get Married >>> Buy A House >>> Have A Baby >>> Then What?

According to most magazines This Guy and I have already undermined the concept of this train by getting engaged before we lived together, yet I'm still answering the baby question day by day and I hear rumors circling.

To place the expectation on someone, married or otherwise, to have children is wrong. Everyone should have the opportunity to choose their own path, their own destiny. Whilst some want it all, others have no desire for the life magazines and women like Angelina Jolie sell to us every day.

Everyone should have the right to not be a parent and go down another path. Embrace travel, embrace freedom from dependents, embrace an income that is all your own. No matter which path you choose so long as you are happy and healthy, nothing else should matter. The Relationship Gravy Train is set up to fail because it pushes people into things they aren't ready for, or they don't actually want for themselves. It's like those who are homosexual who feel like they need to fit in by marrying someone of the opposite sex, only to come out of hiding years later and leave a family in ruin. Times are changing and society is becoming more accepting of difference, but we have a long way to go and flipping the Relationship Gravy Train on its head is just the start.

So whatever your destination, its up to you where you get off.

Image: Unknown