Responding to every phone call and text message with "no, no baby yet." must be a sign that I'm overdue, but here I am 38 weeks pregnant and I've still got two weeks until Cub's due date. I'll be honest, I'm trying not to go insane, between not being able to get comfortable, dealing with late pregnancy onset nausea and strangers telling me I'm baked, combined with two too good to be true false labour experiences. Yeah, pregnancy is a blast, especially the last month.
I've been on maternity leave since the end of January, and finding myself feeling stuck, without the energy to go on adventures, and without the stimulation of work to keep my mind satisfied. I had been studying up until the start of February, but now I've stripped all that away, for a time that should allegedly be filled up with nesting. With a nursery already decked out, a house that I keep tidy and organised even at the worst of times and drawers filled to the brim with freshly washed little baby socks and onesies, there's not much more I can do. I've most recently tasked myself with finding the most appropriate, darling cactus for our balcony, so we shall see how long that entertains me.
Taking a step back from my current state of impatient, bored anguish, this past three months has been filled with some of the most amazing moments and some of the most horrific. In December, just as I was transitioning into the third trimester, I was hospitalised with a suspected preterm labour. My body took me through some intensive contractions, which thankfully stopped when given a stern talking to by my obstetrician. You can never be prepared for the moment someone tells you that your baby may be coming, three months early, and have a such and such percent chance of survival. It was one of the scariest nights of my life, but we came through, and little Cub is still tucked up in my womb ten weeks later.
The next month saw me settle down a little bit, at the hospitals request. I had to push aside unnecessary stress, and focus on relaxing. I did prenatal yoga. I slept in on weekends. I reduced my social calendar.
Then only a few weeks ago, I was in hospital again, with a severe case of stomach bug. If five days with no food, two days of consistent vomiting, four bags of fluids and one iron infusion have showed me anything it's that my body can withstand alot and still nurture my Cub. Whilst I was feeling like death, she was happily growing away, with not a care in the world. If I didn't have a respect for what my body was capable of already, that experience certainly would have shone the light on the miracle of pregnancy.
Now I'm back home, awaiting the signs of my little girl's journey Earthside. With each contraction, each lower back twinge, each movement, I anticipate her arrival. Whilst it is difficult waiting, I have to trust that she knows the right time and isn't just doing this to keep me from poached eggs and sushi.
Photos by Katrina Lee Boultwood
Dress from Spell Designs